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March 19, 2008

eracism (politics, society, culture)

i'm liking obama more each day while most americans of european descent are liking him less.  i find that very, very sad.  just when i was feeling a little hopeful about american society, americans start acting like typical americans again.

first we had bush in effect appointed to the presidency by the supreme court.  after all, in what is supposed to be the greatest democracy in the world, it was much more important to inaugurate a president on a certain date than it was to make sure that votes were cast and counted properly, wasn't it?  and then there was such apathy about what happened afterwards that little to nothing was done to make sure that the same tragedy (for democracy, that is) didn't happen again.  the next election was again questionable, but it looked like bush was finally elected to a term - yet the apathy continued about what might have gone wrong in that election and what we might to do fix it.  now we have all kinds of racist crap happening on the campaign trail and in the media, and small-minded americans who want to ignore our history and its effects, which linger all the way up until today, feeding into it and running scared.

we heard the clintons diminish obama's accomplishments, legislatively and politically, often using racial innuendo to do so.  then we had various emailers, bloggers, columnists and even so-called news outlets saying or insinuating that he was a closet muslim.  i am so sick and tired of hearing about how obama's father and step-father were radical or extremist muslims.  anyone who knows even the slightest bit about these issues knows that no radical or extremist muslim would consider marrying a non-muslim, white, american woman (who in some reports has even been reported to be an atheist).  for people who bother to think about these things instead of reacting to bits and pieces of information, the ridiculousness of this is patently obvious.  the guy is a christian who happened to have exposure to a lot of muslims growing up, including in his immediate family.  this country would be so much better off if we all had more exposure to and knowledge of other religions.  more power to him for having a more multicultural perspective as he was growing up.  america IS multicultural, the so-called great melting pot!  get over it - no, celebrate his past! - and move on, already.

now there is the controversy surrounding the rev. jeremiah wright and the church to which obama belongs.  so what if a black church feels an affinity with africa and africans?  as if many (most?) white churches don't feel an affinity with england, and catholic churches with the pope!  besdies that, america is the only country i know of where (white) people who were born here and whose parents and lots of other ancesters were born here will still call themselves "irish", "italian", "polish" or whatever.  it's a little bizarre to me, whether coming from blacks or white, and whites were doing it long before blacks adopted or developed a more "afro-centric" cultural orientation.  was anyone worried that presidents of those ethnicities were going to affiliate us with their ancestral motherlands in some strange (for lack of a better term) way?  absolutely not - well, perhaps with kennedy as an exception, but that was more about his religion than his ethnicity.

btw, not all of the pastor's comments were off-base.  again, does any educated, informed, thinking person not know that we have historically done and continue to do all kinds of horrible things to other people and countries all over the world?  does any thinking person really believe that we were attacked on 9/11 because someone played "enie menie minie moe"?  we were attacked because of the many things that we have done in muslim countries and to muslim peoples over the years.  that doesn't mean that we were "responsible" for 9/11 in the sense that we did it to ourselves, but it does mean that it was a consequence of our actions.  i was absolutely horrified by the 9/11 attacks too, but i wasn't one bit surprised - because i know our history and i read about current events, from a variety of reliable and respected sources, and have been doing so since i was a teenager many, many years ago.

take one of the most recent examples of our ugly actions around the globe, iraq:  how would you like it if the leader of another country made up some stories about the u.s. and used those stories to justify an invasion and occupation of our country, and in the process caused such political and social destabilization that it started a civil war here and thousands and thousands of people died every day?  not only would you not feel positive about the country that invaded us, but you would want to do whatever you could to fight against it and to pay them back.  i mean, give me a break.

news flash:  muslims are discriminated against (and physically harmed) in this country based on their religion, as are many other groups who don't fit into the white, protestant, heterosexual, male, and/or fundamentalist christian mold (to name some of the more privileged groups in our society).  the laws that exist to protect the civil rights of american citizens, including most importantly and more specifically those contained in the constitution, ought to be fairly and fully enforced.  does anyone really need to see a list of the groups that still suffer daily civil rights violations in the u.s.?  the founding fathers purposely left the word "god" out of the constitution - and thank GOD that they did.  it's about time that we started adhering to the principles of the constitution and backing those principles up with more action, instead of just lip service (when they are even given that).

obama's record of working with people of all political persuasions throughout his career in politics and long before, for the betterment of all american society, is very clear and unequivocal.  all you have to do is look at it objectively.  he wasn't my first choice in the primaries, as i was a john edwards man.  since edwards dropped out, i have been increasingly disturbed by the type of campaign clinton has been running.  although i do think that she would make a good - maybe even great - president, obama has earned my support in the primaries, mostly because i have been INSPIRED by him.  (besides the fact that, to my surprise, www.votechooser.org indicated i agree with his positions 100% of the time!)  and what's wrong with being inspired?

wouldn't it be wonderful if we were inspired more often, in life and in politics?  too bad that many americans seem to prefer to keep their heads in the sand when it comes to issues of black and white, and would prefer to let their fears and their ignorance - and their racism - get in the way.

March 16, 2008

the skinny on skin (health)

i had to go to the emergency room the other day. i don't just hang out in brazil most of the time but spend a lot of time traveling because of my "homelessness".  for example, every year i spend about a month with my best friend in connecticut, and her two young children and husband.  we always take a road trip down to washington d.c. as well, to see some of the rest of her family, whom i have know for years, and friends of mine from when i had lived there.

i had to go to the emergency room because i didn't want to try to wait until i got back to san francisco (my home base in the u.s.) to see my regular doctor.  my skin is always doing weird things.  the second to the last time i went to rio, for example, within days i had an itchy rash all over my penis.  i was watching a movie with my boyfriend and remember feeling a little bit of an itch.  well, the next day my penis was covered with red bumps that looked like bug bites or something.  i hadn't done anything sexually that might have caused them.  they just appeared out of nowhere.

the last time i went down there, shortly after i arrived i discovered a patch of what looked like fungus (ringworm, athlete's foot, jock itch kind of thing) on my back close to my shoulder.  i used an anti-fungal creme and it cleared up over time.  again, i hadn't done anything differently and there was no explanation for why it suddenly appeared.

this time i'm back in the states, and within a week of my arrival - i came straight to the east coast this time - i had a slight rash appear on the insides of my forearms.  then i saw it on the outsides of both of my hips.  could it be the weather, which is a drastic change from rio, of course?  then a few bumps appeared in the middle of my chest, much more pronounced and this time itching (the rash on my arms and hips wasn't itchy at all).  a few days later i was feeling an itch on my side and looked in the mirror to see the same kind of bumps there.  on my chest it slowly was getting worse, too, and then i developed a sore throat but with hardly any congestion, just a very dry, scratchy feeling in my throat and swollen lymph nodes.  i decided i had better not take a chance and try to wait until i got to san fran, and the only option was the urgent care clinic or emergency room at a local hospital.

yale-new haven hospital wouldn't see me in the urgent care clinic without a referral from a physician.  how ridiculous is that?  i mean, what's the point of an urgent care clinic if you need an referral?  you could just call your physician in that case; they usually can get someone in at the last minute, or find a way to get them treated without sending them to some urgent care clinic.  i ended up having to go to rhode island hospital in providence, where i was seen with no problem.

as usual, they didn't really have any idea what it is - just another hiv-related  (or not) medical mystery.  so they take a stab in the dark and give me some medications to take in the meantime.  the first couple of days it didn't seem to be clearing up, but thankfully, today the rash is finally diminishing even though my throat is worse today than yesterday.  we'll see how it is in a few more days.  maybe i'll have to go to the hospital while we're in d.c. this coming week.  i could do a travel column on the state of our hospitals and emergency medical services around the country, couldn't i?  maybe that would be a way to put some more money in my pocket!

March 15, 2008

total fantasy (family)

last night i had a dream that i confronted my father and step-mother about their physical and emotional abusiveness while we were growing up, in a very direct and in-your-face way.  it is something that i might or might not do, depending on the circumstances, but i probably would be nervous and trembling when i did it.  so that was a bit of a fantasy; not that i haven't done it before, but it was mostly in written correspondence.

long ago i got some form of apology from my step-mother, but only within the last few years have i got an apology of any sort from my father.  i had to pull it out of him.  i must confess that he only deigned to issue it after first insisting that he had and after i mocked him for not doing so.  still, i was tremendously grateful and glad.  it helped me to forgive him.

the biggest fantasy is that it was in person and that it turned into a genuine conversation with them about it.  my step-mother is much more capable of such a conversation than my father.  frankly, it is something that i can't imagine my father ever doing.  he is one of those men whose conduct is fully of bluster and righteousness and certainty but whose male ego is in reality so fragile that he is psychologically incapable of acknowledging that he might be wrong or might have done something wrong.  in some ways he's a very sad old man.  but he's still my father, so i have the kind of relationship with him that he can manage - as long as it is respectful of me.

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