"not feeling it" (health, finances)
i am working on getting some more money into my life, and i hope to have some mechanisms in place for that real soon - including figuring out how to get a paypal link on this blog so that i can collect some money from you folks, if you're willing ...
meanwhile, i have these times during the day when my energy crashes. i quit working a few years ago when, after already cutting my hours way back, i for the first time in my life started feeling like i could just fall right asleep in the middle of the few client meetings i still had each week. that was no fun. i know that at least a couple of times my clients noticed, and that was more than embarrassing, not to mention completely unprofessional.
the last couple of days have been like that. it gets to a point in the middle of the afternoon, after getting a good night's sleep and not doing anything that required much exertion during the day before that, when my energy simply crashes. i want nothing more than to go to bed and sleep for a couple of hours. then of course i worry that if i did i wouldn't sleep at night, because i also have periodic problems with insomnia. so i try to push through it and keep going, however slowly, through the rest of my day.
can i really go back to work, even a handful of hours a week? i hope so, because i don't know how much longer i can survive on the money i get from the government. i know i'm not the only one in this position - in fact, considering it's government disability, i know i get more than a lot of other people, although nowhere near the maximum. then i start feeling like i'm on the pity pot. but i swear i don't know how other people do it. true, many of them don't live in one of the most expensive cities in the country, but still ...
