"ain't it (he) a bitch?" (relationships, finances)
it sure is a bitch being poor. i depend upon the kindness of friends and family to put me up, because plane tickets are cheaper than rent and i can't afford to pay rent on my disability income. my peeps are all over the country - and the world - so i spend lots of time traveling between their homes. it looks like a cushy lifestyle to those who don't know any better, and who don't know the stress of not having any place to truly call home. and after a while it becomes obvious that despite how much my friends and family love me, i have worn out my welcome and i have to move on ... to where?
right now i am at a so-called friend's house which actually used to be my home as well. we were housemates before i moved out, and later he bought the house from the landlady. he constantly swears that i can stay here any time for as long as i want, and then when i'm here it becomes obvious that it's a lie. tonight i came in the door and the first thing he says to me is to ask if i had meant to leave my breakfast dishes out, because he had put them in the dishwasher. "breakfast dishes?" then i remembered that i left my cereal bowl and spoon in the sink; i don't know why i put them in the sink instead of the dishwasher in the first place, but i saw them in the sink and apparently forgot to put them away before hustling out the door to take care of my business for the day. "no, it was just a mistake on my part." his reply: "just something stupid". "what does 'stupid' have to do with it?", i said, avoiding any trace of irritation in my voice. "it was a simple oversight".
meanwhile, this morning when i saw the kitchen trash can he had left in the middle of the room last night, what did i do? i put a new bag in it and put it away, not even thinking to mention to him. i had actually thought about leaving it there, because he is so particular about how things are around the house (part of the reason i moved out when we were housemates) that i always feel a bit nervous about arranging even things that seem to me to obviously in need of arranging. of course, i have done numerous things around the house since i've been here, both things that he has asked me to do and things that he has not requested and usually not noticed, either - including putting lots of his dishes in the dishwasher, not to mention giving him money for utilities.
what kind of ugly comment was that? people can be so petty. i have to figure out how to get more money in my pocket so i can get my own place again. i'm tired of being homeless.
